There is Nothing Sexier than Character

Your question got me to thinking, and then to remembering, and the result was a story letter that was too personal and too obscure to send. Although it might be the answer for some others, my collection of stories was not the answer you are looking for, except this one.

We were sitting on the stairs talking. He was telling me, without saying so, that he had chosen to love me. Coming from a man of his twenty-eight-years’ experience it was enough to send my heart and my mind reeling. My mind was popping with objections and hopes, but mostly objections.

If he could feel this way in a few, short weeks, I wanted to be careful and I wanted to be quick. That was before I knew what he intended to endure while I sorted myself out. Instead of relishing a new relationship, I jumped straight to the practical, hard questions, because if there were good reasons to terminate the relationship I wanted to know about them immediately to spare our hearts.

Despite my previous research in the subject of Christ-centered relationships I no longer had all the questions at my finger-tips. I had not expected to need them at my disposal so soon. So I tried to explain, without sharing too much of myself--I was not ready for that yet--that I had no models of the relationship I yearned to experience. I did not know what it took to build the foundation of a healthy relationship, or if I possessed the tools to build one, or if I had the discernment to know the difference between a healthy relationship or a bad one. He told me that the foundation was already in place in the strength of our characters. And yes, I possessed a good character, including characteristics he particularly admired.

It was a message, in a way, I had heard before, that one good person deserves another. One good person desires another. In the past being an interesting person took precedence over character, and it often felt that my developing character was being overlooked. For the first time in my life I had affirmation, honor, and grace bestowed upon me, and honestly I did not know how to respond.

So when you find her, the woman you love for who she is, surround her with this, continually, as long as it takes. Until then, abide with Christ. Abiding with Christ prepared me to be a good woman for Him and also for M. The same grace will be allotted to you, the fruits of which, I told you before, I look forward to celebrating.